Let me ask you two questions.
Are you constantly feeling guilty or stressed because of the decisions you make?
Would you like to be free of your guilt?
If the answers to these questions are "yes," then I have a tip for you!
STOP THINKING GENERICALLY AND WRITING GOALS THAT AREN'T SPECIFIC…YOU ARE CAUSING YOUR OWN GUILT!
(I promise I am not yelling at you. I am just using capitals for emphasis.)
And, it is very important that I get this message across.
You see, the subconscious mind does not understand generic goals. Let me explain.
Many people who want to eat healthy and live a better lifestyle say they are going on a 'diet.'
When someone says they are going on a diet, what does that really tell us? NOTHING, because saying you are going on a diet is not specific at all. In fact, all it tells me is that they are eating something. Diet is simply defined as, "the foods eaten, as by a particular person or group (1)."
My diet consists of 85 – 90% home-cooked meals from whole, real foods (foods the way nature intended us to eat it). The other 10 – 15% comes from restaurants.
It wouldn't be healthy for my life, relationships or sanity to say I have to eat healthy, whole foods all of the time. This isn't even possible because I would have to be home all of the time and I certainly don't want to have to do that.
It also wouldn't be healthy for my subconscious mind to say, "I need to go on a diet." Although I just explained that diet is simply the food we eat, we have been bred to think that diet means a way of eating that is restrictive and limiting in order to help us lose weight and reach our health goals.
Therefore, if I tell myself, "I need to eat healthy" or "I need to go on a diet," then every time I am not doing this, my subconscious mind is telling me I screwed up and…well…here comes the guilt.
However, by telling myself that I want to eat healthy, home-cooked meals 85% of the time, this grants me some wiggle room so when I eat that strawberry milkshake, like I did last night at the county fair, I do not feel guilty; not one little bit.
If I have a goal to spend more time with my family, this is very generic.
How much time is "more" time?
If you don't specify the "more," your subconscious mind just assumes all of the time.
Therefore, every moment you are away from your family, you will feel guilty. Your head will tell you things like, "Hey! You said you wanted to spend more time with your family? Why aren't you with them? Quit being selfish and go home!"
And it will continue to say it over and over and over again.
Some of you may be thinking, "No wonder I am constantly feeling guilty!"
How do you fix this? You make your goals very specific!
Instead of saying, "I want to spend more time with my family," you could say…
– At least half of the week I want to leave work on time so I can spend time with my family.
– One night a week I want to have a family night.
– Three times a week I want to sit down and have dinner with my family at the dinner table.
Do you see how specific these are?
If you take it to the next step and write down your specific goals on paper, then your subconscious mind can see it, read it, and remember it.
What this does for you is it frees you of guilt the night you have to stay at work late…and when you have a girl's or guy's night out with your friends…and when everyone's schedule doesn't coincide with dinner time.
Do you feel better already?
The other thing you want to do is reinforce your goals with positive thinking.
Tell yourself, "It is very important for me to spend time with my family AND it is equally as important for me to take time away from my family."
Writing down specific goals frees you of guilt and reinforcing them with positive affirmation allows you to feel good about the time you…don't leave work on time…you eat that strawberry milkshake…you don't go to bed early…etc, etc, etc.
- It is extremely important in order to reduce feelings of stress and guilt to be very specific in your goals. In essence, this is allowing your subconscious mind to grant you grace.
- Write down your specific goals so your subconscious mind can see, read, and remember them.
- Reinforce your goals with positive affirmation so you can always remind yourself that not following strict rules is good for you!
Did you get a revelation? How did this help you? I would love to have your comments below or visit me on Facebook!
To your new guilt-free lifestyle!
Randi's passion is to create positive change in a person's life that leads to prolonged health and happiness. She works with individuals who wish to lose weight, increase their energy, lower stress and manage and prevent disease through the use of natural health solutions. She is a Certified Holistic Health Coach, exercise enthusiast and rep for Young Living Essential Oils.